|
| Things I feel and do |
|
|
01:55am 18/04/2012 |
|
| |
Uhm. Even though people don't talk to me a lot, I tend to try to talk to them. Here on LJ that means leaving the occasional comment even if I don't get comments. Have I done that lately? Noo, of course not. I'm sorry for being rude. I tend to take more breaks than I am active these days. I get back, tell myself I will read my flist and be up to date, and then... I end up doing that for only a week. I simply don't feel motivated enough to stay on track. Not just regarding LJ, more regarding everything. Stuff online, like LJ and Tumblr and Twitter. It goes on and off. And life stuff. Like WOOO adult stuff, good life choices, cleaning the home and making calls! ... For like a week. And then it's back to INTERNET ALWAYS! Oh, sorry, I guess I should INTERNET FOREVER!! I either chicken out of stuff, or don't get enough in return, and so I lose interest and fuck off into the night. Except for YouTube. I don't watch YouTube anymore. I don't even try, or care to try. I sort of grew out of that community. But I do still vlog. REALLY shitty content, sure, but I do whatever I want, and I always get comments, feedback, and friends from the experience. And so I stay there! Annnnyway. What have I done since last time? I had a dip into the world of The Walking Dead. Did a rewatch of the first season and then caught up with the half-season I'd missed of season two (at that point). I got sort of very, very hooked and it was a super intense show crush for a few weeks. And character crush. The obvious one, of course. Daryl. Now it's on break so I'm not as AAAHHH about it, but it's become a favorite of mine. Sherlock went on break, too, and the few fandom people I was talking to on Tumblr and stuff? Sort of fell away. Not so much because of the break (I mean jesus, Sherlock is always on break) but simply because... Dunno. I should crawl back to daily Tumblr/Sherlock fandom stuff and try to make friends, I suppose, because it is an amazing fandom. Then again I've only ever been in two fandoms...? I have little to compare it with. But in my opinion it's one of the best out there. Then a friend of mine went and fell in love with a random American comedian, and after months of British stuff from her, I was shocked and appalled! But then she started linking Whose Line is it Anyway clips featuring him aaaaaand... Oops I fell and now I can't get up? I sort of fell deeply in love with Ryan Stiles (the one she fell for was Greg, if you were wondering) and now I am watching all of Whose Line, and reading fic, and watching-- well, everything related, really. And listening to a podcast proopcast. I just... sort of love everyone involved in that show, past, present, and probably future. So that happened. That's it. And life in general is the same, and good, and I have found a new place in the woods to walk with Bell, and I took a walk for several hours today, and almost got lost, and then I went back home and now I am exhausted. Goodnight! mood:  calm |
|
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
| (no subject) |
|
|
07:53pm 25/02/2012 |
|
| |
Update, re: last post! Moved to my room with my trusted laptop. Had a bit of a tiny cry. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.7) mesmorizee offered to send me an episode of Have I Got News for You featuring an adorable Martin Freeman (whom we all know I love!) without even having read my post. (Unless she did so within seconds of my posting it, which seems unlikely.) So that cheered me up greatly. I was visited by a Mother and received a hug, whereupon she knocked something over from my bedside table and we laughed at our luck! Then she said "Dinner?" and I said "Starving!" only not really because Mother does not make it a habit to quote Sherlock episodes in English with me... But she said 'Come on, shall we make dinner?' and nudged me. I laughed and said, sure, unless we manage to blow up the kitchen first... She laughed at that. I watched a bit of HIGNFY, ate dinner, feel much better, and also grinned at myself in the bathroom mirror because my glasses were lopsided. More so than I knew. They feel okay now. Comfortable but don't sit well, if you know what I mean? And I am about to have tea and watch Melodifestivalen on TV with Mother. All is well! The temporary emotional turmoil is over for now! DFBTA Mac |
|
| |
|
Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
| (no subject) |
|
|
06:32pm 25/02/2012 |
|
| |
I hate my eyes, and I hate my god damned life, and I hate everything and I am so close to breaking my glasses in half. I literally had to stop myself, twice, when holding them. I started bending them. I hate everything. Fucking frustration like you don't even know. Went out in the sun, ooh, nice weather! Let's take a walk for once EVER ever ever ever. Yeah? I play with Bell, and I sit down on the ground and she skips around me, and AGAIN hits me in the face and knocks my glasses off. Whereupon she proceeds to walk and sit on them while I am yelling at her to move away. I am never playing with her again. She is impossible to play with. She gets too excited and she is too big. If she could STOP JUMPING all over the shitting place. My glasses fell down, at home, earlier too. They have this dot on the left glass now. And now this. So they're all bent and uncomfortable and no matter how I bend and bend and bend they STILL feel uncomfortable. I am just so angry, and tired, and frustrated, and sad, and dgklgldsggdslhgds and my short temper made Mother go "Don't be angry with me!" and I AM NOT ANGRY AT YOU! Is it not understandable that I sigh while I speak because I am sick of the world in general right this moment!? So now she is angry, too, and I feel like it's my fault, and everything this afternoon sucks so much I just want to literally fucking snap my glasses in half and be done with it or fucking stab my fucked up eyes out and never have to deal with that poor fucking vision ever again. I can't not wear them, but whenever I do I get so angry and frustrated, but I NEED THEM TO LIVE, and I want my eyes to see in the future when I am not angry and frustrated. So I can't stab pencils in my eyes either. The dog is worried when we're both angry, Mother is angry, I am about to cry...! I hate today. I hate hate hate hate today. Fuck everything. Can it just be tomorrow already so I can fix my damned glasses and be in a better mood? Now I am going to go away because there are tears running down my face. BYE mood:  aggravated |
|
|
| |
|
Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
| Bless thee, brother dear! |
|
|
07:52pm 02/02/2012 |
|
| |
Well. It all randomly hit me, and I wrote it as an offline to a friend on Messenger. I was inspired to make a blog entry because of it.
Journal, blog... Whatever you consider this to be!
"I am disgustingly lucky. Despite all the fuckery in my life, I am leading a pretty neat one in the end. And I have a fucking laptop!"
I think it's pretty safe to say that my optimism has returned!
Do you have any idea how many times I have seen posts online about Life with a Laptop? Never could relate. In 2008, for Christmas, I received my Eee PC notebook. Nine inch screen, adorable, very easy to travel with. AND OH MY GOD I could sit with it anywhere I wanted to in the apartment! I was high on that fact for at least a week.
Now I have my first, real, proper laptop. And god effin' damn let me brag: it is a good one!
I am sure there are better ones out there for computer geeks who need 'em, but for me... I mean - wow - most of my friends can't even play HD and such. My Eee obviously couldn't either.
But this baby does!
Ohh, trust me, because I've only had this laptop in my possession for a month it still hits me when I watch YouTube how freaking clear the image is. You have no idea!
Honestly, though, the Eee (Charlie, as I named it) has worked wonderfully! No, honest! It has been slow, ohh so painfully slow, but for some mad reason it's done practically everything I've needed. Given, I don't generally do much on my computers. I mostly browse teh interwebz and chat with friends. But the Eee even played a freaking semi-huge online game for me! I installed it and played it with a bigger monitor hooked up to it.
Yeah, no idea. That thing is magical in my eyes!
Although after I got into Tumblr for realz (and man, sorry, I sort of ignore LJ these days because I accidentally moved to Tumblr permanently) it was a bit frustrating, I must admit. I constantly had to close my browser, and reboot computer, and be extremely patient as it lag lag lagged while I scrolled down my dashboard.
That was literally the best thing about this laptop! I could scroll endlessly through Tumblr without it lagging even once!
I started viewing 720p files of everything I could get my hands on - and same reaction as streaming videos on YouTube (among other sites) - FREAKING QUALITY!!!
All thanks to my brother. He has changed my life this Christmas. (The time I got the Eee Mother had scraped up money for ages, and bought it for me. She wanted to get me a laptop this year but couldn't afford it, which is understandable. That is why I had a shock when my brother gave me this one. I did NOT expect to get a laptop. That was something I was very clear on. And then he'd charged it and installed Messenger, too, and it wasn't even turned off, it was sleeping, the lovely thing, so I could use it at once after I ripped off the wrapping. That was the coolest thing! Usually you have to read at least a small section of the manual and/or AT LEAST charge it and/or install things before you get to play with your new tech.)
Not only can I do mindless shit like scroll through Tumblr, but I can view videos, and actually DO WORK, and check my messages and email fast and easy now. I can edit videos, and I can vlog easier, and everything is wonderful! He has opened so many doors. I don't even think he realizes, although I tried to show him my gratitude with that last hug I gave him before he left, as I thanked him again.
You should have seen me typing on this keyboard at first, though! Just ask my friends. They couldn't understand what I was saying half the time. Literally!
The keyboard is much larger than Charlie's, of course, and the shift and enter key, and apostrophe, are slightly different. It was a mess. "Hello, this is Mac's computer!" would look like "jehwllo. tshu ;ac
s computer s is"
Because shift was never shift. Shift was arrow up or back, and apostrophe turned out to be enter. If not it'd say "mac¨s" all the time. Lower case letters, not a proper apostrophe, all a total mess. I also failed at making question marks.
It was quite interesting, I tell you!
I am blessed with silly technology, great friends, amazing pets, and new optimism.
I feel very thankful.
CIAO!
mood:  chipper |
|
|
| |
|
Read 6 - Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
| I feel miserable |
|
|
09:32pm 10/12/2011 |
|
| |
I went to Stockholm with obsessioncalled and that was a blast! I followed her around everywhere because I had no idea where we were going, and without her I would've probably gotten lost. Or taken literally hours to get to places. And I would've stayed inside in misery instead of braving town in the rain. Met up with friends from all over Sweden, sort of, and one local chick actually living in Stockholm. They were all lovely, and it was fun although I was very tired, and the SciFi Game and Film convention was brilliant. Walked around. Met a random guy who knew me, he was nice! Had two proper conversations with Michael Shanks, got an autograph on my "Daniel-Hat" (lol, the kind of boonie early seasons-Daniel wears a lot), and took two pictures with him. I mean, the actual photoshoot kind. I suppose I might post about the experience more in detail later? But right now I am miserable, and I have been since Tuesday, because I have a terrible cold. Worth it! So worth it. I don't mind, really, if this is the price I have to pay for a good time in Stockholm. But I do feel miserable and drugged and tired, and therefore uncomfortable ranting online. Because I honestly have no idea what I'm typing half the time. I'm sort of on the edge of being dizzy most of the time. But I'm sure it'll be fine soon. ( Sanctuary rant, spoilers for both last episode and previous ones, and general concerns about future I guess. )mood:  crappy |
|
|
| |
|
Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
| Dear, Self |
|
|
03:59am 07/12/2011 |
|
| |
Dear Past Mac,
Everything is irrelevant because you will one day get to meet Michael Shanks.
And hug him.
Love,
Future Macmood:  toomanyemotionsforwords |
|
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
| (no subject) |
|
|
06:19pm 19/11/2011 |
|
| |
Ugh. I love how I am capable of having normal sleeping habits. I went to bed at half past five a.m. Fell asleep. Woke up at noon when Mother went off to work. I felt strangely awake and knew that if I slept another half-hour or hour or any amount of time below seven hours, I'd end up sleeping for, well, seven hours. And so I decided to get up. I sat at the computer for two hours before I realized I should open the blinds, or light a lamp at least, perhaps both... use the bathroom, make breakfast, at LEAST have tea or put on socks so I wouldn't be cold. And of course I had to pass the bed in order to get out of the room. I have no willpower AT ALL. Literally at all. I was cold, too. And so I slept. I woke up when a friend texted me around three. I was surprised I'd only slept on and off for an hour. Perfect nap! I did it once, I could get up again! I would. Yay! ... At quarter past six I get up. Yep. Good. Good, Mac. Good. Sigh. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
| Hurray! |
|
|
03:33pm 12/11/2011 |
|
| |
I never did post yesterday, like planned. I just wanted to throw joyous news around, saying that I've fixed my sleeping habits now. My schedule is more or less back on track. I mean it's always a bit to hell because I've always been a night person. Woo for night owls! Anyway, so I went to bed... Well, I don't remember, but I fell asleep at half past one, and I slept all god damned night, and I got up before eleven and it was bright in my room. Daylight, daylight, freaking SUN! On my face. WHAT EVEN! Yesterday night I left my computer on to transfer files. Over 400gb of stuff! To my new external. (Called Martin Crieff, oops! What? Shush. I was going to call it just Martin, but that wasn't as fun because I have a distant friend named Martin, although we mostly call him Marty, and hmm... So full name it was! Martin Crieff. Nom!) Now everything is organized and backupped and brilliantly brilliant! Took all night, and then two hours manual work today. What with the moving other minor folders and files, and the sorting, and yeah. Dang, I feel accomplished! Also safe. So safe. I've lived with a tiny, tiny computer (when it comes to space and memory and yadayadablah, that is) and only one external with all my shit saved on it... and if that one died, poof, bye-bye, life! Well, I mean, I've tried to have backups in other places, but I've never had enough room to backup everything. That's that! Next project should be catching up with shows. Oh well. I'm off. DFTBA Mac |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post - Remember - Share - Link
|
| |
|
|
|
| April 2012 |
|
| |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
|
| |
|
